I got so many likes from these on FB,they had ma Lmao! Wow, that funny! But some are too icky. My niece Mason was looking at my laptop screen!! These were soo alsome.. Omg I posted one of these statuses and got Almost 4 like in 5 minutes! This stastus with codebar is the best.
Never moon a werewolf. Ketamine — Just say nay How do deaf people know if someone is screaming or yawning? Why does everyone think my Dads are gay? I just ended a long-term relationship today. Well some of these are really funny , Others just stupid! Dinosaurs were lies, fed to us to cover up the existence of Pokemon. Your mom… bitch quit reading status and go make me a damn sandwich! Really good website haha pissed myself just reading them!!
Its funny guys remember your bra size but not your birthdate.. This comment is hacked, you can like it as many times as you like :. Ahaha dont u just live how my name and my comment coincide? OH WOW!! Men marry becoz they are tired, women becoz they are curious;n both are disappointed; lolx;.
Haha , wow , half of it really make sense! The other half ….. No offense to blondes! Oh im sorry im not perfect for you but did you ever realize that your full of flaws too?? Thats a stupid thing to say to a girl and to some girls it really offends them.
This is so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wont be impressed with science until i can download a zinger burger…:-p. Is it just me, or is the ice cream machine at McDonalds always broken.. The comments are funnier than the statuses! Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single. Definition of drowning is suffocating in water, so ye fish cant drown douche bag!!
Q: What do you do for a living? Insert coin here: [] to view status. Is that what happened to you or did your mama forget to swallow. Neither should ugly people get sex — they produce ugly kids! Food for thought: The worst fight with a fly, is in a public restroom…Move!!! The best part is…….. The bit about a skirt and skin to skin. Suffocation is not being able to breathe.
Drowning is suffocation due to water or other fluid. Haha that was kind of funny. Roses are red violets are black, girl your chest is as flat as you back. Relationships are like fat people most of them dont work out. That may be but only in heavan, those gals never leave you. Please diposit 25 cents to view my status :. I can;t believe i used to like that guy. When life gives you AIDS, make lemon-aids.
Now a tanned Ginger is a different story…. Take life as it comes in your face and runs down your chin. Phttt; love this one. You can steal my status updates if you like, but I lick every single one before I post them.
Is so cool that the Aztec predicted his birth. Violence is not the answer, it is the question and the answer is yes. Just deleted friends… if you are reading this congrats my friend. When life gives you lemons…add tequila! If it wasnt for X i never would have cheated on my gf…. WHen life gives you lemons, eat them, and then make sour faces at life. I wish you could be a status, so i could like you. I eat 1 skin, u eat 2 skin, i eat 3 skin,… what do u eat? I was on MSN and went to like my friends update…..
This is getting obsessive…. You coud do.. No, it means half of that one person eats it. Well i going to bed….. Dicks still up. I wonder what will happen if Steve Jobs dies…. She is like Your make-up looks so pretty: lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!! X is as bored as a midget in a theme park.
Tail, I watch a movie. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. And I want to put the stick IN your ass. X just got a ticket for driver inattention. If u do ur not using it right…. I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet. They go to school, then shower in the bed and sleep in the stall. That charlie sheen joke is totally mine back off. Hahaha He is probably from england. Football is soccer over there. Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
Thats so not true. Yup, we totally copied you when kicking your ass in the war. This country is due for another civil war …Nascar Fans are out of control. Leave Justin Bieber alone! Wow guys for real??? Dear Mathematics, please grow and learn to solve your own problems and not to depend on others.
Getta Lyfeeeee! That is so offensive to the Lezbians!!! Lifes A bitch because if it was a slut it would be easy ;. I LOVE how you just low key called him a girl in your excuse lmfao! Roses are red Violets are blue u are my chicken wing to my bread basket 2.
Sometimes I wish the world was flat so the idiot really could fall off the edge of the Earth. No one copied anything, they just changed the name when it was published in America, and Canada. What country do they call him wally in?
If Practice makes perfect, then my parents must have practiced a lot before they made me. PMSL love it haha I see a bloke the other day with wooden legs!!!!! This is too much funnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyy. What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? I was on farmville once then immigration came a took all of my workers! The Zodiacs only changed for people born after …. Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
I love how u have nothing else to do but call someone u dont even know bitch. If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a 4th sense? Hey, be nice. I wanna kill the sexiest person alive, but suicide is a crime. Just like the old spice commercial hilarious!!!!!! What do u call a girl in bed Answer: Laid! Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? Women only need 3.
Viagra is now available in powder form to put in your tea. Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel Its true warmth. Boobs are like the Sun…you can stare at them directly just for a few seconds. Round is a shape. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. I tried being normal once. Most boring hour of my life.
The first five days after the weekend are always hard. Broken pencils are pointless. Goals are for soccer. Romantic Facebook status updates Come What May….. I Will Love You….. Everything I do, I do it for you. There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable. The real lover is the man who can thrill you just by touching your head or smiling into your eyes — or just by staring into space.
When people talked about soul mates, I never believed them; until I met you. Everyone has an addiction, mine happens to be you. It was just you… The good things in life are better with you. I wish I could tell you how I feel because every night before I sleep, you are all I think about. Actually, your presence is just enough.
When I look into your eyes I see the mirror of my soul. You are my world my life and my soul, my reason for everything that I do. I love you, and I will always and forever. No one else will have me, only you, my love. But still, you have to pay for it. I want to run away with you. Where there is only you and me. Until my heart stops beating. The two statuses are different; changing one will not change the other.
Note that unlike the permanent status update above, the statuses you send out to your contact list will disappear after 24 hours. WhatsApp statuses are not only for serious communication.
What would be the fun in that? Check them out below! Try them out and see if you get any laughs. Remember: Brevity is the soul of wit. Hopefully, our list has gotten a chuckle or two.
0コメント